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9 days in the Darkness


Many of us grew up being afraid of the darkness, being afraid of the unknown, maybe being afraid of what we do not understand...being afraid of being alone...I remember myself as a child being literally terrified by darkness, being terrified by what I felt around me and I did not understand...we are teaching our children so many unnecessary things and don't help them understand the truly important things of life, about body, mind, spirit... but how could we teach something we haven't been taught? How could we show a path that we haven't walked on? How could we have the courage to unplug our dear ones from the Matrix around when we don't know it exists, how is affecting us, and the complexity of its programming...


I had a truly life-changing experience - 9 days in the Darkness, in a way just you with you, in another way you and all the spirits that have always been there to guide you, support you, love you yet now you are more aware of their presence...You see your whole life from such a different perception, you relive and understand every part of your life with full clarity and wisdom, why everything happened, what impact it had in your life, what is truly important, what is unnecessary, you see clearly the Lies that governed your life or the ones around, either self-created or borrowed.


You connect with traumas that are so deep inside you, childhood traumas or recent ones and you can see maybe for the first time how much you are bleeding, not physically but spiritually which is at least as worse but you don't realize it...You remove this nonsensical Program that you have created that you Need to Be Strong for Yourself and for the Others around and by being strong it means you don't cry, you don't suffer, you just slap yourself on the face and move on no matter what and you ignore everything around that hurts or has hurt you, even allow it to still hurt you from a place of "love"...And yes, maybe you manage even bleeding to achieve certain things in whatever success means for every soul, maybe even create a positive impact in other souls, but that still doesn't heal your wounds, doesn't take out the knives you carried on you for such a long time...you realize that you do need to give yourself permission and energy to heal...and you are wondered by the natural healing power you have inside yourself, that you don't need any book or any seminar to teach you how to heal. Not that there is something wrong with them, they are wonderful when you integrate their knowledge but otherwise, they become just information. And you realize you have the inner guidance, you just need to spend time inside, focusing on the inner world and not the outer one, and as everything that has been in the shadows, in the subconscious, comes to light, you see them, acknowledge them, you cry, you suffer, you shake them out of your being and then you Heal...you magically Heal once you put the light in them...you also gain the ability and wisdom to see how your life was and is transformed by you Not Healing your wounds, you start wounding others and you do it so unconsciously and so profound in everything, personal relationship, family, friendships, business relationships...All under the umbrella of "I KNOW BETTER", what a destructive pattern the mind has created to "protect" the soul by covering it with the Ego...


And healing does happen and you realize how life will change with you Healed, your relationships, business, activities, everything...Beautiful...truly wonderful to live your life as a Healed soul...


Yet, there is something inside that you feel is draining energy from you, no matter how healthy you eat, how much sports you do, how good you rest, how much you grow, how much impact you create or not, how much you heal inside, something is still there... you feel your energy drained for so many years and you keep asking yourself Why?... Where Is It Coming From?... And the message is finally coming...it was obvious but you needed Time for Yourself Disconnected from Everything and Everyone so you can connect to it and you needed to be prepared to let go of the Mental Construct you have to build around it...You Connect to the Moment That Changed Everything...


And after days and days in the dark you go back in time with clarity just like you relive that scene and you see a young boy, a few years old walking on the beach of the Danube river and seeing his mother wich he loves and is the center of his Universe at that stage swimming far away, you realise that they are tens of metters of water under her and suddenly you feel something is wrong, that she is in danger...she is coming back to the shore but she is far away and it is enough to watch her eyes for a brief moment and you know that she is desperate, she can't breathe anymore, she doesn't have the strength to Save herself and that you will loose you mother... so in that brief moment through the mother/son divine connection you feel what she feels...and you start Screaming with all your strength to ask for help from the only 3 Adults that were close by, the 3 Souls that were there, one of them is your father wich he can't swim and you become angry of his weakness, his inability to Save her, you have the wife of his best friend wich yells at her husband not to enter the water as he can drown too and you become disgusted by someone who from her own fears is Stopping the only person that could have Saved your mother and than you see your father's best friend who is the Only one there with the Ability to Save being influenced by his wife and hesitating to enter the water and to Save Her because of the chains he had around him from his wife, you are so upset with him...and here it gets really intense...You realize that although you are a few years old, no one else can so you do anything you can to save her...So you Scream at Her, and You Yell, and You Cry for her to get the Strenght to Save Herself...you feel the whole Universe is shaking from your yelling, and screaming, and crying, you already see your life clearly without your mother in it and you are so terrified of it that you start screaming more, and more ...and in that second something happens, as there is no one else there to help, you start Crying and Praying to God...you are so pure at this stage that you are not altered by any concepts regarding God, no ideas about religion or spirituality, no form of prayers, no practices, no rituals, no mind games regarding Him...you just cry in tears to your Creator, to your Father, you are humble, honest as a lamb, hurt, scared and you are just asking Him with all your power, all the purity of your tears to Save your Mother...you don't know at that stage that was the most powerful Prayer you could have done, in its purity... And in that moment something of Divine Greatness happens, truly a Miracle...even if she is so far away from you, you feel your mother getting her strength back, you feel her breathing again, and you see her moving upside down and just floating on her back, resting...slowly, the time stops...you don't know how long that moment took but it felt like an eternity and slowly slowly you see your mother coming back to the shore...you run to her, jump on her , you have a mix of feelings - you love her so much and you are so grateful that she is Saved, you can finally Breathe although obviously all that fright that you lived is still part of you, you are also mad at her for exposing herself to so much danger too but you Don't allow yourself to be mad or tell her anything as you are just a kid grateful his mom did not die, and you don't know at that stage but you find Infinite Tolerance and Compassion for the other adults and just ignore what happened without Adressing it although it was wrong and you don't know how this will develop into a pattern later on wich will make you and others suffer. Another thing that you become aware of even if you are just a child is that when you go to God and you ask something with purity, Miracles happen around you...and you start having Faith...and No one can ever take that away from you because no human entity gave it to you...no religious book, no spiritual teaching.


...you discovered it inside...


What you did not know is how much your whole life will be changed by that specific moment...how much different everything will be...You don't know that in that moment you have took The Savior archetype and how that will impact your life in a way in many positive things, but in a lot of ways in such destructive behaviours and how much you will get hurt because of it...so you start as a child and teenager to connect with The Savior of Saviors, our beloved Spiritual Mentor Jesus but you start getting influenced by his wonderful story in ways that hurt you and as you will discover earlier to take unnecessary "sacrifices" and an over-resposability, you start developing the pattern of carrying "Crosses" that are not yours to carry wich later on will produce massive suffering but You Are the Savior and You Must carry everything, you start getting connected in so many books and movies to heroes and Saviours from your country, from worldwide and you develop a fascination on what they did to Save their world, you start spending most of your childhood with your parents and most of their friends fascinated and obsessed by their stories and you are becoming a young "psychologist" so you can understand the souls you will Save later on, than you start loosing the people you love through their death , your father, your grandparents and as You could not Save Them you choose to take their suffering inside yourself as a true Savior and you don't realise how much you will carry with you for the next years of your life wich slowly slowly will become a habit of taking everyone's suffering inside you, in a way you start becoming also mad with God that this time he did not Save them anymore so you start associating His Love with Saving, you also loose for a few years that beautiful, pure connection you had with Divinity because you feel He doesn't listen to you anymore and He doesn't Do things as you asked, than you start doing martial arts as a 15 year old young man training for hours daily sometimes for years, literally hitting walls with your bear fists so you can have the power to Save the ones you love even against violence, you spend a big part of your adolescent life around extreme violence although you don't get involved in it so that maybe you Save some of them or at least to be Protected by the aggressors and you don't know at that stage but every Savior Needs a Victim and an aggressor and you start dancing and learning about this 3 Archetypes with all the adolescent experiences, than you get connected to women and because you feel love and respect for them and you see how most men see them you choose to "Save" as many as possible and to give them your love and attention in all ways possible, and when you are Loved by someone by being in one relationship after a while you get bored because there is no one else to impress, To "Save" , To show the " new magic" and this carries you until your 30's,as a young 20 years old man you learn to Save yourself - becoming an entrepreneur, making your own money, eating healthy, doing sports, than you get exposed to the personal development phenomenon and you become obsessed on learning, reading like crazy, going to hundreds of seminars with some of the greatest masters of the world, listening to thousands of audios, you put so much pressure on yourself, sacrificing life most of the times, even family so you can learn how to Save More, you expose yourself to unlimited and extreme experiences for becoming Fearless as any Saviour would from crossing the river that almost killed your mother wich is pretty large swimming, to jumping from airplanes with a parachute just to remove the fear, from walking on hot coals to walking barefoot for hundreds of metters alone in the night in the Amazonian jungle wuth no light on, all of it to remove fear, to push to the limits, than you get to know God again early in your 20's through a beautiful story, in a Christian Church and with the childhood background you become obsessed on finding the "Christian God", you start doing Bible Study of The Old Testament, The New Testament, The Universe makes it so that you live literary in the same building with a church for a long time so you can attend multiple preachings, than you start going to Israel for a few times on Easter or other Holy Places on Earth, so you can connect with that energy but when you don't see the souls going to Church throughly "Saved", when you see their dirt you realise that spiritual purification has nothing to do with religion or teachings but with the decisions we take every day to align with the Divine Truth in the day-to-day live, when you decide to remove the Lies in all aspects of life.... than you start looking for models of businesses that can Save as many people as possible, so you get involved in them and you put an enormous amount of pressure on yourself, again working 12-14 hours a day, sacrificing almost everything for years because you believe what you are doing is Saving millions of lives, you put an enormous pressure on yourself to achieve in a short period of time what is normally achieved in many years, than when the company you represent for years gets into problems you get into a huge inner conflict because on the one hand you want to fight, to give again everything, you want to Save your Company, Your organization and on the other hand you clearly see the things that led to problems and you are not aligned with them anymore... And some of the worst aspects of being a Savior is that as A True Savior you develop this obsessed action of helping everyone, Giving messages, being excessively carrying and responsible, being too diplomatic when you should have been more firm, and stand on your ground with what you Know is The Truth, giving your precious time and energy that is not even yours to give to souls that did not appreciate it, just like feeding pearls to pigs as our beautiful brother Matthew is saying it roughly but aligned with the Truth (Matthew 7:6 "Do not give that which is holy to the dogs, nor cast your pearls before the pigs, lest they shall trample upon them with their feet, and having turned, tear you to pieces."), even allowing people in business or personal relationships to be disrespectful or even hurt you profoundly because you are trying to save them, you forgot to protect yourself, your energy which is God's energy because you are Saving everyone...


And when you finally get into spirituality with years and years of hard work but again with the same pressure in giving most of your energy in all the ancient ways you find all around the globe, with the same Pattern of Growing as much as Possible to Save as many souls as possible through everything you do, you finally meet a soul that doesn't need any saving...that soul is so beautiful and so complete...so aligned with God , with The Truth that everything done through that soul is from Divine presence...and if there would be someone between you two that needs to be saved that would be you...but the soul does not treat you like someone that needs to be saved although the wounds are obvious, doesn't treat anyone like that although the soul is actually saving their lives in your perception...and although that soul is close and supportive for years, you can observe that it is Not Trying to Save you, everything that comes through that soul is from a different space, the soul is joyful, relaxed, full of energy, altough the pressure around that soul is far more heavier than yours, actually far more heavier than almost anyone you know...you see through your interaction a different energy in the giving...you were helping too from your love but with too much pressure, too much energy, too much sacrifice, many times loosing yourself...and you suddenly allow the possibility of not having to Save anyone anymore...you are too tired anyway...and after 6-7 days alone in the dark, seeing again all your life, you finally see what happened to you...what that event created in your life...and you finally learn to let go...no more saving...no one needs to be saved...no more victims...no more agressors...you forgive and have compassion for everyone, all the "actors" in your life, even the ones that hurt you and sometimes especially for them...and you start seeing that everything is as it is supposed to be and constantly evolving in the Perfection of the Creation...and you are a piece in this beauty, loved and supported by your Creator, you have always been, and you will always be, no matter what, just like a parent loves his children...no matter what....


And in the moment of this realization, you wonder how can you come back to life, how will it look like? For the first time in your life, you feel like maybe you could leave it all away, that you have already done your part in this life and maybe many others ahead...that you don't have any target, any pressure, any "mission" and you deserve to just Be...and Live this wonderful gift called Life in all its wonders...In a way, you start Zooming Out and you See Clearly that Almost All the Things you put your focus on will be anyway Non-Existent in the next tens of years after you Die wich is Certain for All of Us...this clarity can become pretty scary in a way but the Truth is The Truth and there is no way around it...and then you Zoom In on what is truly important, you realize that Life itself is an energy, a gift from Our Creator and that you are just a custodian of that energy...and your role as every custodian is to Protect It in all ways possible, give it, share it as you feel, as you are guided, in every way, shape and form...This Awareness impacts you Multidimensional...and it brings silence...


And more Silence...and more silence...and more silence.........


And then you realize it again and again that you are Guided...


You have always been but now you are seeing it with ultimate clarity...You are Conscious of It and you learn for the first time to remove any teaching you have received or self-induced and you just surrender to Our Creator, let Him/Her guide you, You connect with "Thy will be done on Earth as It Is in Heaven" in the complexity of what it truly means and so you move in the way of Being, in the way of " I am"... and if you ever Feel to Do Something, it is aligned with the Being which is God expressed on Earth... like something inside you Wants to Be Done Through You...


You even ask yourself why do you feel to write a message like this as most souls will not even have the patience to read it, why write something like these taking hours and hours of your life as it takes so much energy to do so, knowing also you attract from the souls that see it all kinds of energies, judgments, reactions around it of which some are of positive vibration, some of the negative depending on their level of perception ... why do you do Anything Actually?... Why To Do and To Be part pf Anything? Any relationship, any business, any seminar, any activity, any spiritual camp, any relationship of whatever form?... And You Wait for The Answer...and you Realise that the Answer comes Only in Silence, that of wich most people are avoiding ...just Silence, as long as it is needed... and after waiting for enough time the answer starts coming to you - If you do something, you don't do it to save anyone anymore, there is no one that needs to be saved, you don't do it to prove anything to anyone as there is nothing to be proved and whatever will be proved will disappear anyway, you don't do it to get attention as you are so tired of it, so exhausted some times of people's energy, especially the heavy ones, you are so well in silence, by yourself that you start wanting to run away from attention, you don't do it for money, obviously they are a beautiful and important form of energy, useful in many ways in the dimension we live in but also they will disappear anyway...even the relationships and identities we have created "I am someones husband, wife, lover, mother, father, son, daughter, friend, collegue, business partner, owner, employee, mentor, student etc."...all of this will disappear anyway...And it gets extremely profound, extremely intense...like you are losing your mind and in a way you are...the programmed mind...you almost become No One, Nothing...No Razvan Anymore...


So as No One, As Nothing, As Energy, As Soul, in this beautiful magnificence that can't be explained, just lived, why to become again Some-One whoever that is in other souls perception?... Why Be Anything?... Why Do Anything?... And the Answer Finally comes and you just burst into tears...you always knew it, you always felt it but now with a different intensity, different perception...you do it because this is why you came here to do it in the first place... you do it because you realized a long time ago that you are not alone here, you are surrounded by your brothers and sisters, souls in different levels of evolution and it is not a conceptual thing anymore, you look inside your heart and you cry, you cry with all your being expressing the intensity of the Love you Feel, it floods your whole being at such a high level that strangely, unable to be understood by the mind, you don't feel any separation anymore, there is no You and They Anymore, You and They are One, One from the Source, One From the Creator when you Zoom Out, and when you Zoom In you see clearly how Your Suffering is There Suffering and the other way around, Your Healing is Their Healing, Your Growth is Their Growth, Your Story is in a Way Their Story, Yours...is Theirs...in every form...


I am You, You are Me and together with everything around, all the Planet, all the Beings on it, all Creation, all the entities that are known and unknown, all the Universe and Our Infinite Creator - we are One


I love you and I am praying for you,


Razvan (in this lifetime)

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